10/12/11

You
By Carah Pearson


In those first few moments, I close my eyes and I imagine you here with me. I imagine you, laying perfectly on top of me, your arms in a tight embrace around my waist. I imagine holding you close to me, feeling your tender body so soft and new pressed against mine. You lift your head, slowly and cautiously as if daring an outside force to push it back down. I lift my chin up to look at you, and not just you, but the soul hidden masterfully behind your eyes: your perfect eyes reflecting the moonlight into a captivating mirror of requited love that sweeps across my entire body when you look at me. I can feel your gaze casting its line out to mine, waiting to sink their hooks deep within me. I allow my sights to set slowly into yours as I take in every detail of your body and your face. I can feel your eyes reeling mine in; after all, your hooks were sunk in me months ago. At last, my gaze enters yours, and I'm caught in that familiar realm: an ocean of quicksand that I'm stuck in the middle of. It devours me, but I don't fight it: I love the way you make me feel; there is nothing better than what I'm feeling just then. We lay there, so tight in each other's arms, so wound up in each other's eyes, smiles slowly stretching at our cheeks and laying prominently amongst our faces. Your eyes, they draw me in closer to you as mine must be drawing you closer to me. Soon, our bodies are locked together so tight that I never want to let go, and our lips come into contact, so soft and sweet. My eyes close to the last loving look you gave me, and I know right then that I've never felt so free--I've never felt so alive. The way the melody is playing is exactly what I feel in my heart: flutters of highs and lows, though mostly highs, that pulsate throughout my body all because of you, the artist; the musician who made my body sing in endless delight of being yours. You move your hands so slowly and carefully across my back, around my sides, and up my stomach; you hesitate before allowing them to explore my chest as the music intensifies. Suddenly, everything feels unreal: that we're kissing, but we really aren't; that we're laying there, but we're not; that I'm breathing, but I'm holding my breath; that my heart beats, but all it really is doing is laying dormant; that time keeps ticking, but for the moment and moments soon to come, it's stopped. We're laying there together, our bodies fused in passionate love and pleasure, and for just a second, I think that time really is stopped; that my heart really isn't beating and that I'm not really breathing, but then your kiss drags me back to reality, and I hold onto you just a little tighter because I never want this moment to end. The piano grows louder and our bodies grow even closer, waiting to cross a line and enter a room neither of us have been in before, but as we go, we go not alone, for we go together, and I know everything will be all right because I'm with you. We enter slowly; you move carefully and hesitantly out of consideration for me, and you take me by the hand. Your guiding hand reassuringly leads me in, and we are together in this room. You move slow, holding me by the lower back, softly pressing your lips against my neck periodically. I lean back and arch myself toward you, giving myself completely to you, and your movements increase in speed by a slight extent. We're laying there, perfect and untouchable, and I want nothing more than you...

...but then I'm snapped back into reality, and I realize I've been laying here with my eyes closed the entire time with this pillow lain across my chest.

"I love you. I love you so much," I whisper to you even though you're not here, and I begin to cry tears of joy, love, and, most of all, loneliness.


- - -
My name is Carah. I am 18-years-old and I reside in a "village" (as noted in the phone book) of no more than 800 citizens. I hold many passions in life: writing, as you may have guessed, is one of them.