By J
The room around me is basked in a dim, blue light,
faces paling one by one as the laughter and clutter die out.
Nothing matters besides you
And across the room, I spot you…
Just the top of your head, peeking out.
And you’re radiating light and we lock eyes!
In the instant,
I know you, and you know me
And we know we’re desperately in love.
In the halls I pass you
The two of you
He holds you, he strokes your back.
It’s all futile, I tell myself, because that’s her boyfriend, and I am nothing.
But then your head turns.
You glance once more and understand the pain in my heart.
Ever so slightly, your ice-cold grip loosens from his spine and you blush.
The color in your cheeks is all I need.
I get you, and you get me.
And maybe he’s the nothing.
It’s what pulls us together, you know.
It’s the correlation of our heartstrings when one of ours tugs on the other’s and when a slight smile expounds upon itself to form hours of laughter.
It’s what keeps me thinking I want to marry you hours after we say goodbye.
It’s the desire to smile when I’m around you even when I’m sad.
It’s the feeling that without you I would go mad.
It’s what makes me say, “I love you.”
Sometimes, we are alone.
Best friends have no reason to hide from each other, they say.
As our fingers interlock, I stare into the depths of your eyes.
Is this happening?
I think so, I reply in my thoughts.
This isn’t allowed, you scream out to me. This can’t be happening.
I know it isn’t, love. But it is.
Our bodies and our minds pick through the contradictions and the rubbish every day.
And when we are together, they align.
This is right, we both know.
My hands reach. Gently, your hair flows in luscious waves. I brush it back. It obliges. Of course it would. Your warmth covers me. And mine reciprocates. Our noses touch gingerly. We whisper without words. Our lips close in. We kiss.
Hours later, I drive home.
The highway glitters with the sherbet colors dripping from the waking sun.
The air is gentle, yet chilled without you.
A single sound resonates in our ears.
It echoes from the depths of our souls,
years apart from each other when we know we are meant to be.
It is watery, indistinguishable to those around us.
But for you, love, and for me, it rings clear.
I do.
- - -
I am a college student blessed or cursed by my existence as a hopeless romantic. I secretly despise those around me who act out of lust rather than love, but am sometimes jealous of their ability to let go and to live free of regret. I often write when my emotions build up and need to lash out in a fury of ink.
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