7/11/11

37 Days
By Vada


I just wanted to say goodnight to you.

I want to say goodnight to you cause I love you.

You were in training when I feel in love with you.

You were lonely.

As was I.

It all started as a joke to make us feel better.

To mend your heart and keep mine busy.

But when you said you love me it was different.

I didn't want to say it back cause you said it so soon and you were so sure about it.

I was scared.

You saw this as a game.

As did I.

We never sat next to each other ever.

We never got to hold each others hand.

But yet, you said I love you.

I became ill, so did you.

We never got to watch bad movies sick on a couch.

We did see a 2D flat screen version of each other every night.

It made it harder.

All I wanted to know was how you smelt after training.

How your hair feels.

You planned to surprise me.

I knew.

You said I love you every night.

I said I miss you every night.

I didn't want you to feel dumb.

I just wasn't sure about you.

Your intent.

Your love.

You missed your flight to surprise me.

I told you, I love you.

But this is all yesterday.

Yesterday that should be forgotten.

Now.

Now I need your voice at the end of the day as my sleep aid.

I need to know your okay to be okay.

My love is invested in you.

My mind is constantly on you.

My love is yours and you can't seem to hold it anymore.

We never got to hold each other.

We talked about everything.

You tried to scare me away.

It didn't work.

I see the good in you.

I wish you did too.

I know I scared you.

I know.

No more 2D flat screen reminders of what we can't have.

I can't seem to hold a thought with out you in it.

Your letting fear take you.

But.

In 37days we can hug.

In 37days you can look me in the eye and tell me you love me.

37Days until I can know your scent.

37days I will know.

You kept me alive when I needed it.

I kept you alive when you needed it.

We are still here for each other but we don't need it.

I never knew what love was until you didn't have it for me any more.

Guess I was late.

37days.


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