3/21/11

Leaving
By Katie


She falls right into the wall, clutching her stomach, gasping for air. Curling when she sinks onto the floor. And there you stand, silent, your fingers still tensed and your hand aching with impact. You are frozen as you listen to her cry on the ground. But what can you do. You just stand there, listening to the sobs fall out of her mouth. Listening to the birds outside. Listening to the dishwasher in the next room. She stands up, smooths the surface of her shirt and wipes her eyes.

“That’s it,” she says. Even now, she’s fearless, her eyes twinkling wet as she gets into your face. “That was the last time you will ever touch me.” Her words spit like fire.

Still frozen, you watch her walk out of the doorway and go into your bedroom. You hear her go into the closet, hear her rummaging around the drawers.

Instantly you reanimate, thundering down the hall. “Where the hell do you think your going?”

“Somewhere,” she’s staring down at her bag, stuffing it with the pants she wore to dinner last week, the pink shirt she had on last night when she slept, the shoes she wore to your brothers wedding in October. “Anywhere away from you,” her voice cold and when she looks up her eyes cut with rage.

“No your not. You’re not going anywhere,” you step into the room. Calming down you coo, “baby, I, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I…” you reach out to touch her arm.

She freezes at your fingertips. “Don’t you touch me. Don’t you dare touch me.” She grabs the handle of her bag. “Don’t look at me, don’t talk to me, just move out of my way.”

She walks past you. “I’m not kidding this time,” she calls down the hallway, “I’m leaving you. Forever, John. I am tired of this and you and this, this hell that we live in.” She’s standing by the dining room table, right where your mom sat on Wednesday.

She is serious. She is leaving you. It takes you all but a moment to realize what is really going on.

“No no, NO NO. Put that goddamn bag down right now Maggie this is, this is ridiculous!” You move towards the door, anticipating her next move.

“RIDICIUOUS? You think you can hit me, and treat me like shit and I am ridiculous! HA,” she forcibly laughs and it fills the room with an eerie sound. You were laughing in this room last night, laying on the floor and kissing and holding each other.

“Maggie, I love you! You are, you are my life.” Your voice cracks in emotion. She’s looking at the floor. “Maggie, baby, look at me. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I never should have, should have, but you know you can’t just leave me like this! You know you can’t leave me like this,” you move towards her, reaching out, smiling at her beautiful face, “we, we love each other.”

“No no.” She walks towards you, looking around the room, looking like she is trying to remember everything. She turns to you, staring you down. “No I don’t love you.”

A nerve, rips through you. “No John, I don’t know what I feel about you. And no, you’re not sorry. Every time John, every time you say your sorry, and you say you love me and you say things will be different and you’ll change…I’m an idiot--,” you hear her choking on tears. “I’m an idiot because I believe you.” She starts to cry again, and you, you don’t know what to do.

Wiping her eyes she looks to you. “Well not anymore,” her teeth begin to grind with anger. “Not any more.” She moves past you, reaching for the keys on the ring and reaches for the door, and suddenly you watch your arm fly out, grab her wrist just as her fingers touch the doorknob. And then you hear yourself yell something, something intelligible, something demanding and loud and angry. And then you feel something cold and metal and sharp drag across your head. You feel the keys tear off your skin as it moves from the crown of your head to the bottom of your chin, and you, cringing in pain, release her hand and grab your bloody face. The door opens and she runs out of the apartment. The pain subsiding as you focus at the matter at hand. Getting up, fumbling down the corridor, see she’s nowhere to be found. Running down the flight of stairs, your sprint to the parking lot, screaming her name. Screaming out of anger and fear and loss. Your eyes scanning wildly till you find her red car, you watch as it slowly backs up, watch as she drives away from you.

You watch her pull on to the busy road and her car disappears from your sight. It’s too late to follow her, it’s too late to get her back. It’s too late to tell her you love her, to late to hold her in your arms and kiss her and hear her laugh. You fall to the ground as you feel her get farther and farther away from you. Your hand clutching your stomach as you gasp for air.


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Katie is a senior in high school. She likes making sentences.