2/20/11

Call
By Steve Baba

Call.

And what do I say to her? I miss you? I love you? I want you to be right here with me in my arms? No, of course not. I will say, ‘Happy Birthday’, and make small talk and have a meaningless conversation that will always end up as, ‘Call you soon. Take care.’ And then I will hang up the phone and feel that deep twisting ache in my chest. My eyes will water and warm my pale cheeks. And then I will not call her again.

The first time I smelled her was on that Tuesday afternoon in July. The window was open, the sun shining in. It was a rare nice day. The light frothy breeze drifted into the room, and it tangled into her auburn hair. It teased and tickled, and finally when it passed it danced to me, and her scent absorbed into my face. It was a sweet, flowery smell, a smell that I most often sniff when I walk by a red rose bush. I closed my eyes and I thought of nothing else but to be there, with her.

There was the time when I was with her, and she was reading a book. She was so entranced by the book that her brown eyes sparkled with interest and passion. I couldn’t take my own eyes off her. She suddenly glanced up, and caught me staring. But instead of looking down in shame or shyness, I kept my gaze. I couldn’t do anything else. I felt paralyzed. And then I realized that I loved her.

It has been too long a time since I have seen her, and it makes me very sad to know that I am almost to the point where I forget what she looks like. But the feelings are still the same. My heart leaps when I hear her soft words on the telephone. I can feel her pillowy lips on mine when I think of those nights when we kissed under the London moonlight. And her warm hand in mine, so tightly and securely as we would walk through the streets, not seeing anyone else, not hearing anything else, only seeing and hearing each other. I smile when I remember, but my heart cries.

The dial tone ticks away in its methodical sequence. Three times and the line goes quiet. ‘Hello?’ I say.


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Steve Baba is poet/writer working on his BA in Creative Writing. Steve lives in California.