1/15/11

Her Ghost
By Steve Baba


It was a light sort of day. Music played peacefully in my mind. The bright clear sky brought out daydreams long lost. A sigh arose from my lungs, my heart skipped a beat. I licked my lips from the dryness instilled by the soft warm breezes that danced off my body. She was there. I saw her again. The intensity of her bright brown eyes pierced through my own. I knew she wanted my love. Her soul pulled me towards her, even though my feet did not move. Then as I got closer and closer, she disappeared and faded into nothingness. I frowned and looked all around me. She wasn’t anywhere to be found. Then I felt something touch my back. It felt like a feather had brushed against it. I caught a faint glimpse of auburn as I turned around. I heard a shy laugh. Wisps of air tickled my skin and I felt chilled. But she wasn’t there.

I awoke to the evening cooing of a dove. It was a sad, lonely call to the end of the day. My face felt dry and the air was cool. The sun was sinking westwards and the final life of the light desperately spread itself against the now clouded skies. As if to say ‘I will not go quietly’, the rays danced and reflected the mesmerized orange, pink and purple visions to me. And then I looked to my right and she was there. Sitting, her legs pulled up against her body. The white gown she always wore keeping her warm. Her head was perched towards the sky, watching the brilliant display of dying life. Her locks of brown-red floating calmly behind her head. And those piercing eyes full of fire gazing intently above. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think. All I felt was a deep pain inside the center of my chest so terrible and aching that the love I sought to always contain in my soul dripped freely from my eyes. She turned for a brief instant and looked at me. Her beauty was so strong that I cannot even move my head and avert my eyes in shame for showing my feelings. But she smiled. Her face, her eyes, her mouth smiled. She moved closer to me, and closed her eyes. She moved her head towards mine, her lips so full of rose blossom I could smell the sweet fragrance so intoxicating. And just as I could feel her lips touch mine, the light faded away. And so did she.

The stars are keeping me company now. It is quite cold, but the lights in the night sky make me feel just a tad warmer. Misery loves company, perhaps? I imagine the stars as a great light that cannot ever be touched. But as beautiful as they are and how close they seem, you want to reach out and touch them. I close my eyes, and imagine how it would be to feel that warmth that they must have, for certainly anything that can shine as bright as the stars must be warm, even hot. I take in a deep breath of cold night air, and the scent of roses hit my senses again. I purse my lips together tightly. Is she here? I then feel a sudden heat coming from beside me. It becomes very comforting, very welcoming. I turn to my side, and she is lying next to me. Her face is looking straight into the night. The lights of the stars reflect against the softness, paleness of her skin. Do you ever wonder what is up there? She asks me. The same way you wonder what lies in your heart? I reply. She smiles gently and blinks. I still see the passion of life dancing in her eyes. I move my hand towards her face, half-afraid she will disappear, and half-afraid she will disapprove. But neither happens as my hand touches her cheek. It feels so soft, so delicate. It is warm yet the skin is pale. I slowly run my hand through her hair. Silky and buttery. She closes her eyes and voices her approval with a light groan. Then I suddenly stop. What will happen if you disappear again? I ask. She opens her eyes and looks deeply into mine. What lies in your heart? She answers. I feel the deep pain again inside my chest, the betrayal of feelings arise from my eyes and wash down my face. She closes her eyes and she seems to be waiting for something. I close my own, knowing that even in the dark with my eyes closed, my heart will lead the way. It feels like an eternity of one moment as my lips touch with hers. I can feel her warmth transfer to me, and my body is flush with her essence; her passion is bringing my dead soul back to life. The emptiness disappears, the loneliness dissipates. The stars keep both of us company.


The light of a new day has brought me new hope. My eyes are bright with life. I feel the need to accomplish what my dreams told me long ago. I breathe in the fresh air, the morning is grateful to be welcomed. I look beside me, and she is still there. She is so beautiful. The morning brightness highlights her face, so peaceful and relaxed. Her chest rises and lowers with each sweet breath she takes in and out. I cannot imagine being with anyone else. I reach to touch her, but she seems to fade. Her body floats away into nothingness. The warmth turns to cold. She is no longer here. But my heart burns with the flame she has given me. And even as my eyes glisten in the light of dawn, I smile and know she is with me.


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Steve Baba is a 39 year old wanderer. Currently working on his degree in Creative Writing, Steve lives in California.