11/19/10

Desperate Promises
By Ryan Avery


I imagine us desperate for each other. Separated by thousands of yellow lines on a never ending road. Traveled and worn by an equal number of travelers. Both of us walking on the hot asphalt. Shoes falling apart, soles flapping with each step. Clothes threadbare, holes showing our true colour. Gasoline ceases to exist and cars are a long ago luxury. We walk the faded road with no other thought.
Disaster struck hard and fast. The quick phone calls, helicopters overhead. We knew our late night conversations would never last. A quick promise, words spewing quickly. We needed each other. When everything died away. The lights, the phones, the cars, I was lost. Modern nomads all around. People were drifting. Each with their own agenda.
Every face I pass is forlorn and lost. Wandering with hidden purpose. I check every one. Looking beneath the hoods, the scarves, and capes. Trying to settle my nerves. Trying to convince myself that each step brings us closer. Convincing myself that you are the same as me. Just facing the other way.
When you come for me, run. Come quickly, like never before. Come raging and violent, like shouting in the stairwell. Come with purpose, like banging on my door. Come angry and upset, like the worlds been lost. Come passionate and emotional, like nothing is left. Come desperate and helpless, like it’s all over. Come needy and seeking, like I’m your last chance.
I’ll hear your running feet. I’ll hear your shouts. I’ll hear the bangs of your fists. I’ll know the worlds been lost. I’ll know nothing is left. I’ll know it’s all over. I’ll know I’m your last chance.
When you come for me, run. Come quickly, I’ll be waiting. Come raging and violent, I’ll calm you down. Come with purpose, I’ll answer in kind. Come angry and upset, I’ll bring peace. Come passionate and emotional, I’ll hold you tight. Come desperate and helpless, I’ll keep you safe. Come needy and seeking, I’ll protect you.
When it happens I want ecstasy. I want your numb, dirt smudged, exhausted soul to leap. When I uncover your face and eyes connect with hope filled eyes, smile. Smile and shout and scream and feel safe. Feel like your troubles are over and the world will come together again. Feel total. Feel happy. And I promise I’ll do the same.


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I live in the north woods of Michigan without any idea of who I am or where I'm going. I spend my days drinking hot chocolate, listening to music and watching the clouds sail overhead. When I have nothing better to do I attend classes for an engineering degree.