Letters Between Lovers
(The Things We Leave Unsaid)
By Ashley Shaw
Danny,
It is sunny here,
But not as warm as expected.
Dusty yellow rays bounce off
The shiny red paint
On my car,
But I still shiver.
I never realized how
Cold it could be
In Florida
-Leslie
Leslie,
I, too, am cold.
But for a different reason.
I miss you.
I wish you would come home.
I can still hear your tentative footsteps
Walking through our bedroom.
It still smells like gardenia,
Even though all of the flowers
Have died.
It is brisk here.
Love,
-Danny
Danny,
Yes, I am aware of your brisk temperatures.
Like the cold tone of your letter.
I made it to the beach today
And let my toes drift lazily
Against the water's edge.
I wore my black bikini.
The one we picked out together
In one of those little stores on the
Jersey boardwalk.
I caught men staring at my
Rounded bottom.
I don't know why I'm telling you this.
I chased the seagulls
Into the foaming surf.
It's so beautiful here.
But I still long for home.
I hope you are keeping occupied.
-Leslie
Leslie,
I am keeping busy.
To distract myself from
Thoughts of your hair
And toes and skin and shoulders
And scent.
I feel your ghost in each
Breath I take, and
I keep thinking I see you
Out of the corner of my eye,
Your lips stretched into a smile.
It was so rare to see you smile
During the past few months.
I wish you were here.
Yes, I'm very busy.
-Danny
Danny,
I'm having my lawyer send up the papers.
Please sign them at your earliest convenience.
Why couldn't you just talk to me?
We could have resolved this.
I'm sorry it worked out this way.
Why didn't you just
Love me?
-Leslie
Leslie,
The papers are signed.
I'm sorry.
I wish I could have fixed this,
But I know
I could never be what you need.
I wish I could tell you
How much I love you,
How much I long for you,
How late I stay awake each night
Just thinking of your eyes,
But some things are
Better left
Unsaid.
-Danny
- - -
I am a twenty-one year old student at Arcadia University. I have many strange phobias (including peanut-butter), but writing is not one of them. So this is one of my first attempts to get my work published. Thank you for any and all consideration.
Posts
147 comments:
I enjoyed the unusual approach to this poem. Very creative. Well done!
Sigh... indeed.
This is very sweet, Very tragic. I wish more people we willing to commit to honesty.
Wow. That was really beautiful. I'm often wary of poetry published on the internet; I always assume it's pathetic, pity-me-please emotional garbage, but this was so simple and honestly beautiful.
This was really beautiful and sad. So often we do this to ourselves. I can truly see myself in your poetry/story. thank you for posting this.
this is incredible, it brings forth a energy of longing in my heart, i loved it
Simply beautiful and heart achingly tragic.
Wow. That was...in a word...*amazing.*
Arcadia U, formerly BEAVER COLLEGE!
I love beavers.
it is great to see what is left out, a very enlightened approach to answering the "why?" which so many poems pose, but don't address.
great stuff.
an enlightened approach to answering one of the many "whys" so many poems pose, but fearfully avoid confronting.
great work!
Really great work! It was tragic and very realistic. Keep the poems coming!
Beautiful.
just so affecting so simple and so powerful.
I stumbled on this through stumbleupon, clicked "I like it" and sent it to all my friends.
It other words, this is awesome.
Thanks for the post.
This is just lovely! I think it captures the things we leave unsaid perfectly.
Dear Fellow Writer,
I'm so happy that I stumbled upon your web page.
You have cast upon me a magical spell, which requires of me to return to your blog periodically for another fix of magic.
~Belle
It's moving and true.
I know all too well the feelings that are conveyed in this piece of writing. The best of works always invoke these strange sensations within us.
this is so unexpectedly powerful! love is something we all usually let become supressed because of our doubt in ourselves. you had a creative and interpreting approach that will speal to so many people, and maybe help many finally reveal their own love for the people in their lives. good luck on your publications!
This is a sad but well written piece. It made me cry, actually. Nice work. (though that's not hard, for I am human, female, and hormonal. haha.)
This is Amazing..
This is astonishing, absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.
There are times when we use the words given to us in the English language with half of the power they were intended to wield, and times when we can use those same word to their full extent. This is one of the latter. It was poetic.
A great reminder to say what we mean.
This is.. beautiful. I love to write poems myself and when I found out about this through stumble upon I liked it and sent it to all my friends.. I also just like fell in love with this type of writing for poems.. Its great.. Wonderful job!
I really enjoyed the tone of the poems together. Nice voice!
Thank you. Actually it looks like this was posted the day me and my husband became separated. I think I needed this. and I don't know how I stumbled on this exactly when I was going through it. Thank you, thank you so much.
This is beautiful. So sad, but true. I wish everyone could just say how they feel without being afraid. I love the hidden honesty.
This is really amazing. It sort of happened to me, which I was scared of expressing my real inner passion, and end up making everything worse.
Honesty does count in every relationship, and it makes me cry to see a couple that truly love each other to end up like that...
That is really lovely, I think I just lived through this, or maybe was with someone who truly felt nothing for me. For me a poem should be like a painting capturing a moment (or moments) in time perfectly, and saying what others can only feel and not verbalise. You have done this, well done be very proud of yourself. Ha just found myself typing and erasing words as I went.
Excellent! I really enjoyed this and you have real talent my friend. Write more!
This is an excellent story, I'm glad writing isn't one of your phobias...lol. Found this through stumbleupon. Thanks for sharing some unspoken words.
So beautifully tragic! I love it.
Fucking Beautiful. THANK YOU.
this. is. beautiful.
this brought to my eyes, this piece really sucks you in. it doesn't just make you think, it makes you FEEL, which is so hard to make people do these days.
excellent work!!!!
This made my heart sigh.
My Dear - I just "StumbledUpon" this, and I really loved it. It's amazing.
Also:
"I have many strange phobias (including peanut-butter)"
I've never actually heard from another person who has a phobia of peanut butter. You've made me feel a little bit better.
Thank you.
Best of Luck. xxx
It truelly was an amazing poem, beautifully worded and ellegant in its passion. Please continue to write, find inspiration in anything you can.
-ScarlettAshtonPeterson
Great poem! Glad you are able to share your talent with the world.
As John Mayer sings: "Say what you need to say..."... if only we all could.
And for those phobias of yours... you might try EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or PSTec. They are two non-invasive, powerful healing tools with good to great phobia results and they're free. Look 'em up on Google (web or video). Best of luck in all you want to accomplish.
Without being blindly hopeful and knowing things may not change with my own heartbreak, your poem still comforted me. It's been six LONG months.
this poem was absolutely stunning, and immediately captivating. while i found the end to be a bit rushed/contrived, i loved it all the same
i also go to arcadia and i also am 21 and also think your work is beautiful. i have felt like that before writing whole letters or texts then deleting half of it and only sending the coldest part of it, leaving the essentials.
best of luck on your work.
Arcadia is a small school and i landed on this page through Stumble Upon. what a small world.
a very sad look into an all to common experience.
This is great,
It's exactly what happened with my ex.
I would love to know what would of happened if those things wouldn't of been crossed out.
This is beautiful! I saw that you go to Arcadia University and i had to comment because i go there too. =] Once again, fantastic! I also found this from stumble upon, and thought it was interesting to see what strange happenstance we come across.
awesome!
If I change the names and the setting,it's me and my now ex wife.Looking back in 20/20 vision,for the want of maybe three words at a certain time to her.The consequences of not saying,"I forgive you",or "can we talk?"Oddly enough,as I wrote this I remember why I never forgave her,and never will.
doesn't get any better than this
Really lovely, and an original idea to use the strikethrough text.
Dear 21 year old Arcadia student,
First and foremost I want to say I love your work. This is the second post of yours I have stumbled on, and I want you to know that your work has a sublime beauty in it that I rarely come across (and I look at a LOT of art). The stories really and truly inspire me. But you also inspire me, I am a 20 year old English student in South Georgia and I have been kicking around ideas to get my work published and become a recognized writer for some time, but you have given me the motivation and inspiration to really go ahead with my plans. Thanks for being an awesome example and peer, and of course for making some bad ass art.
stumbled upon this, fresh idea. haunting and beautiful.
cheers.
Dear Ashely--
This is your d-bag classmate who was in your cohort, name beginning with a C and it rhymes with Smaitlin. I was using my Stumble Button, chuckling my way from amusing page to meme, and happened upon this. Small inter-web-world. I had used the link before on Facebook, but this time it was a totally chance happening. I just wanted you to know that the stumble button does, in fact, work. Hope your summer is super. See you around.
so true. very sad. keep writing. it's amazing.
You are a great writer DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT QUITTING!! You are so deep! And it´s so true! I think anyone can identify to this!! haha you just made me cry :D Oh the power of Love!
ahh thats so depressing...no happy ending?
Hey, I stumbled upon your page. I like your writing and Im sorry you are afraid of peanut butter, cause I love it :) wish you a happy publishing. by 22 year old student thats afraid of ppl she doesnt know, and STILL I leave you a comment :) thats gotta count!!! :)
Wow. That struck home. My name's Dan, and I'v thought/written/not said those EXACT same things.
Just liked the way you had two alternative conversations running parallel, perfectly strung together so we read both things, but Leslie and Danny can't read the lined-statements. Crafty, smart, effective! Brilliant.
awesome!
That's fantastic man. Good work.
so fresh, love it!
you really portrayed the longing and emotion so many people want to express but feel as though they shouldnt.unfortunate but true. you did a great job. thank you for sharing
It gave me shivers. I could feel the water and the cold, and hair blowing on my skin, It makes me want to yell at them, and tell them to love each other. I can really feel the distance between them.
I've lived this. at least I lived one side of the conversation. And, sometimes I cry because I still cannot decide if the other side left as much unsaid, or if those lines were never even in his heart.
Loved this piece. Posted a link to the work on my tumblr site- hope you don't mind, it was just too beautiful not to share with people.
http://livingonlattes.tumblr.com/post/1174310786/lettersbtwlovers
(here's where I posted it. I linked it back to this page and included the authors name in the title.)
I'm going through a phase with my love and this might be a turning point in our relationship - today we had our first talk and he admitted to the pain I caused him in the past and that its still ongoing. I almost had to force him to talk to me. I'm a woman, I have strong intuition and my gutt feeling has been telling me something wasnt right - I was right about that. So, I sat here after our talk, since Im waiting for him to come by so we can talk some more, and hit my stumbleupon button and asked for something enlightening regarding this relationship issue and first thing popping up was this. Thank you! This is exactly what I needed - or what we need! I hope I can get him to speak about his love and fears...
Keep up the good work.#
<3
left me with goosebumps.
I skipped through a lot of poetry today as I didn't think I could be bothered but this was a very touching beautiful peace well done.
This was absolutely beautiful and touching. Thank you so much for writing this and letting all of us read it!
Dear Ashley
Sometimes I think that the great romantic poets are all dead, but though your use of form is quite unusual, their spirit lives on in you. No matter what happens in your life, never stop writing. It would be too much of a waste.
With great admiration
A voice from the wilderness
Beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes
I am so jealous of your creative writing. I've been writing poetry for it least ten years but nothing ever feels as sincere and fresh as poems such as this one. Thank you, and keep writing!
refeshingly beautiful. keep up the lovely work
Wow. I think this is phenomenal. It's very creative and very well done. This is inspirational to me as a young writer. Thanks so much for sharing it.
as a fellow aspiring writer, i would like to thank you for your courage in publishing this to the net. you kept it simple, vulnerable, and beautiful. and kept it interesting enough to keep reading along...which can be hard as people tend to take on the attention span of a five year old when on the internet. keep up the good work!
Gorgeous, Gorgeous, Gorgeous. I loved this, so much in between the lines!
tragically beautiful and so true. i happened to be listening to an instrumental song called "La valse d'amelie" while reading it and it complimented the tone perfectly:)
That made me cry.
Thank you.
Absolutely lovely. This brought tears to my eyes.
this is beautiful
I absolutely adored this. You are very talented.
This literally made me cry. It's a beautiful piece.
great idea. very creative. the way honest poetry should be. keep up the good work.
greetings from germany
so sweet! i awwed like 10 times! :) so beautiful.
it sounds so real. like this could be what is happening with me right now... i wish that i had the courage to say the things left unsaid because maybe we would be together now. very real work. excellent job, keep up the good work. :)
It's wonderful. Very real. Thanks for sharing.
Really amazing, great job :)
i feel like i have written and read so many letters just like this one. thank you for writing this. it truly is amazing, and you truly are talented.
This was very very lovely. When I read your bio I smiled because I almost went to Arcadia University!! But I go to UC Santa Barbara.. :)But anywho, great job. The saddest things are often the most beautiful :) Please check out my blog sometime! I included the URL
Absolutely beautiful. I could feel the tension gushing out of every word, every line that is represented has thought and meaning and life. I just love it!
this is beautiful. it says all the things we leave unsaid. i wish you the best.
I teared up, that was heart-rendering and beautiful :')
That was really wonderful. Made me feel the emotions. I'm crying.
Crying.
that was wonderful.
Wow that was a great poem, It caught my attention because My name is Leslie and I own a red car and I live in sunny Florida.....but no I don't have an ex husband named Danny...I enjoyed it very much!
brilliant
this is painfully beautiful. thankyou.
This was one of the most awe inspiring works I have ever read. I am only in high school, but I have independently studied the works of many great poets, authors and playwrights, and this shows something that I have always found lacking on a simple piece of paper. In a Shakespearean work, or even in Tennessee William's The Glass Menagerie, stage directions and lines delivered by a character are limited to the page they are printed on. It is almost always the events that occur off of the page that create power for an audience. However, as the comments show, you have struck a chord solely with your written work. The things that we say as people mean so much, but the things we don't say can make or break us even more than what we vocalize. While there are times where your line breaks seem a little awkward, the format of this is still nothing short of brilliant. Keep writing, and do try to publish this in your college's Literary Magazine if there is one.
I really enjoyed this! it felt so realistic! Relationships are not a fairytale. Communication is essential! Good writing! :)
as i was reading this, all i could think about was my former boyfriend and i... it took my breath away. please keep up the good work.
Oh yeah! Give it to me! More, I want more!
I also have a phobia of peanut butter. You are not alone.
Breath taking, I loved that so much :) Thank you
So relevant to how I feel today, nostalgic and a bit wistful...
lovely, this.
i go to AU!!! (irrelavent...but wanted to share)...nice work btw =)
I really really enjoyd this..
I liked your poem. the active censorship created a beautiful form.
I especially liked Danny's first two letters. The absolute brevity of what was sent, hiding so much subtext was perfect.
However:
the writing itself often didn't sound real. I hear W.C.Williams in your writing, but you've got to keep walk that line between prose and poem better. The poetry isn't in the words so much as the form creates lines and meaning where a letter would loose so much. that, I think is the beauty of what you did.
The line " I, too, am cold."
sounds poetic, not I'm writing a letter. Keep the icy tone, but break don't break the flow. "I am cold as well." a "Brisk" is a perfect word.
Your use of concrete sensory detail was hit and miss. the line "It still smells like gardenia/ Even though all of the flowers/ have died" is a WONDERFUL line. it sounds as if someone actually is saying it, and stumbled upon beauty, rather than is trying to write a line of poetry. however, many of your other lines do just the opposite: "I feel your ghost in each breath..."
Lastly, the ending dies. you end with vague, and obvious mishmash, and it undermines all the good work you did in the poem already.
I know from the second stanza that "I miss you". and I know that the entire poem is about suppressed feelings and words.
so why do you feel it necessary to end the poem with " I need you... I long for you". It's much stronger without. telling the reader something the've already picked up on, means you don't trust them to feel with you. They do, We do!
And the vagueness in "I wish I could have fixed this." is painful.
with your desire at the beginning to be as concrete as possible, I was, frankly, surprised by this ending. simply saying, "How could I have fixed a marriage that was doomed/ Tell me, please. /Please." you hear the desperation the longing. and you loose the vagueness.
overall, I think you have potential as a writer, and I love it when you take risks, so take more of them. don't back off.
I don't expect you to publish this comment (I only wrote all this because it was moderated) and I hope you'll be able to use some of my suggestions.
and, if ever you want to discuss poetry, or if you want to critique some of my writing, please feel free.
And I didn't leave my email address or website. www.omeps.blogspot.com
I cried. This is beautiful, especially for those who are in along-distance relationship.
Captures everything so perfectly.Love your poems. Everything that I've read here. Wish you success!
From one poet to another,
Challenge yourself with the name of the poem.
There was a small spark of revelation when I read the line "I'm having my lawyer send up the papers." It's easily the most poignant line. It transformed their irrational stoicism into something very calculated. You're very smart to approach a challenging subject with such modesty and letting Leslie and Danny do the work for you. Great job, now all you have to do is wait :)
So true. I cried the entire time. I love it.
This so made my heart hurt the saddest thing I've read today but so beautiful
this is beautiful. it is sad that many times people go without saying what is on their minds. this really captures the emotions of that. it's amazing how different things would be if we all just spoke from our hearts. best of luck with getting published
WoW.... Great work!!! Excellent style!!
Not only was it very beautiful and sad, but also very powerful... and well written, I might add.
I'm writing to my ex girlfriend at the moment. It's been a year since we split. Our letters are just like this...
Sometimes things are better left unsaid.
This made me cry and defiantly got me to think.Thanks for the poem. It has changed my thoughts.
This is amazing. I wonder why people can't just swallow their pride and tell exactly what they're feeling.
I mean life is short and if you really love somebody you should never let them go.
But
-sigh- people people.
I am not sure if you still read this page from when you posted it but, I love your writing. If you have more, I'd enjoy reading it. I just don't know where to find it. Feel free to email it to me 'inglewood42@gmail.com' I love speaking of and reading poetry. Hope to hear from you soon
cAm
I just stumbled upon this and I go to Arcadia! And I'm at Arcadia right now!!! Very nice!
thanks to stumble upon i found this one. i'm so sad right now. damn it. it's too real.. :/
best wishes from germany
Sad... but true. Words left unsaid can destroy bridges among persons.
Beautiful, but sad.
True and beautiful to the point of pain. Thank you for sharing it.
This is amazing. It's so clever and original. I bet a lot of people can relate to it as well. I know I can. Great poem.
Beautiful write! Love it! Life is really short and if you love somebody you should never let them go.
Motivational Poems
I found this on StumbleUpon, loved it, then lost the page. I clicked through hundreds of poems just to find this one again. Completely worth it. Simple, touching, and with a beautiful message.
This took the breath from my chest. It made me relive the pain of past breakups. Although it makes me sad, I'm amazed at how it made me feel. It's wonderful and sad and I hope this gets published. It's beautiful.
i stumbled upon this today and it was exactly what i needed today. this poem is so beautiful and powerful and i know you will get published. thank you for writing this
gave me goooosebumps :)
I found the strike-throughs distracting, but so is love.
I almost cried.... This poem is how my life is....
This is a Beautiful poem, thank you
You did a great job.
Reading between the lines, what they say and what they mean. Very well done =]
Amazing.. saw such a approach for the first time. Great job. :)
This is great work. Really quite moving, really well done!
Incredible. I cried.
Beautiful, I teared a bit.
That was beautiful. Never stop writing!
This is beautiful, I love the unique writing style you used. People need to cut to the chase and say what they really feel. Put it all out there and just be..
reminds me of the song personal by stars
I absolutely love the way you wrote this. It gives the reader that feeling of wishing the recipients of the letters could read the crossed out lines or that the lines never existed.It's amazing.
Just stumbled this ... and now I'll check out some of your newer posts to see how the "getting published" thing is going for you. :) Wishing you well.
Great job!
Post a Comment